Sunday, June 24, 2007

Sex Sells - Since When? - Sexpresso!

As with ANY industry, sex is always at the forefront.
Which industry was the first one to really make money with toll calls?

SEX

Which one was the first to make money with the internet?

SEX

I could go on and on but won't. Since the first caveman grunted to his buddy, "ugga ugga, look at those beautiful hairy tits bro", man has been obsessed with sex. Now sex is in the double latte frappucino mocha half caf espresso world with Sexpresso cafes opening everywhere.

With as many horny guys as there are in the world its surprising this didn't happen sooner.

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Friday, June 22, 2007

Road Rage Drivers Are The True Victims People

My loved ones tell me I have too much road rage when I drive (sometimes even when I walk). The more I think about it, the more I realize they are following the PC train and don't understand that we're not the ones at fault here. We're the victims here.

  • Its not our fault that morons drive slower in the left lane than the cars next to them in the right lane. Or even better, the EXACT SAME F^@KING speed as them so we are stuck behind them forever.
  • It sure as hell is not our fault when dumb drivers insist on talking on their cell phones while changing lanes and not moving their heads to look first.
  • What about those brain dead SELFISH drivers who won't inch up to make a left turn, thereby assuring that everyone behind him or her (probably her :o) misses the light for no good reason.
  • It definitely is not our fault that retarded drivers insisting on racing to make a RED light, so they can block the intersection so that people who have the green light can't move. Now that I think of it, calling them retarded is actually insulting to the mentally challenged, who show far more common sense.
I can go on and on but I won't. So think about us poor victims the next time you feel like ranting and raving about us poor road rage drivers.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Poor Paris Hilton is Ill - Tell Me Something I Don't Know

Paris Hilton gets away with a reduced sentence because she wasn't feeling well. Poor baby.

Don't get me wrong, I think the punishment was stupid to begin with. She should have been killed, or at least forced to watch her acting jobs over and over again until she kills herself. Or, if you really care about the greater good for society, fine every moron that takes a picture of her for a tabloid or gives her any more publicity than this no talent dime store hooker deserves.

But all kidding aside, I don't think she should be killed. I was just joking. Now the mental cases who spend their time protesting for her and looking up to her, those sick dogs should be put down. And while you're at it, throw Lindsey Lohan in there for me too.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

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The newest site for all things hilarious.